How My Wife Taught Me What it Means to Love

I love my wife. I’ve loved my wife since before she was my wife. The love I have for my wife grows more each day. In over 15 years of marriage, my wife has taught me what it really means to love someone.


This article is part of my birthday present to me wife Shay. I want the world to know what an amazing woman she is, but I also want them to know what love truly looks like.

When we married each other, I knew I loved my wife. Over the next 15 years, though, she would teach me about love in ways I didn’t know were possible.

Within our first year of marriage we had a son. Our oldest son is an incredible young man. As a baby, he was a handful, especially to parents who weren’t even twenty years old.

Shay began teaching me about love when she was still pregnant with our first son. She ate foods intentionally because they were supposed to make the baby healthier. She would do activities intended to improve the health of the baby. She would use special bath salts, listen to the right kind of music, and embrace as the gospel anything the doctor told her would improve her pregnancy and the health of the baby.

Not only did she DO all the right things while she was pregnant, she also avoided all the wrong things when she was pregnant.


Her first lesson in love was the life of sacrifice she lived for the sake of our son.


In our first year and a half or so of marriage, we struggled to learn each other and live together. We each had preferences ingrained in us from the homes where we were raised. Our personalities that were charming and loving while we were dating and engaged lost their charm over time. We would argue about everything from finances and in-laws to meal planning and housekeeping. No matter how angry we got or how bad things seemed, her commitment to me and our family never wavered.


Her second lesson in love was her unyielding commitment to our family. 

By April 2002 I was enlisted in the delayed entry program for the Marine Corps. I would ship out to boot camp in May, and we would only see each other for a combined total of 24 days over the next year. During my first year of service, I went through a whirlwind that started in Paris Island and ended in Iraq. Shay was, for all intents and purposes, a single parent. It was hard on her. She traveled around staying with different family members for part of it until she moved into base housing while I was deployed for war. She not only bore the responsibility of being a housewife and mom, but she bore the burden of being a Marine Wife, which is a title worthy of great honor and respect.


Her third lesson in love was a steadfast commitment to me. 

I could go through the entire Love chapter from the Bible (1 Corinthians 13) and demonstrate how my wife lives up to every characteristic of true love. If I did that, I would end up writing a book instead of a blog.

My wife is my most loyal friend and my fiercest opponent; she is the greatest mother and an honorable wife; she is the queen of my home and the owner of my heart.


My wife is my love.


I know what love is because she taught me.


Happy Birthday Shay


I Love You!




I am an author, speaker, and leader with a passion for developing people into practical leaders who put their principles into practice. I am the co-author of the acclaimed book Faith Acts with best-selling author Dillon Burroughs, the Chief Operations Officer at the Chattanooga Community Kitchen, and an independent leadership consultant to up and coming leaders and start up nonprofit organizations. My greatest joy, however, is serving Christ and his Church. I am the proud husband of Shay and father of two great boys. We live in Chattanooga, TN. #NoogaStrong

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